It starts from homes, schools, parks, religious places, pop culture itself. It feeds a certain mentality that women are fair game no matter what and men will be men, boys will be boys. Women tolerate a lot, men take it for granted that’s how it’s always meant to be like
Things are so bad that lot of things we find threatening, offensive, abusive, demeaning, harassment, assault are not even considered so by many men and section of women. They think ‘yeh toh chalta hi rehta hai’, so what? It’s not a big deal as per them. Hence it continues.
And if it makes headlines, gets reported, results in debate or action, they start blaming women at once, talk BS like it takes two hands to clap or declare daughters shouldn’t be born, women must not be hired or given admission.But they won’t hold men accountable or change at all
If you have even lawyers using analogies like ‘mithaai sab ke saamne khuli rakh di, tijori khuli, meat in front of dogs’ to justify harassment, molestation, assault, rape and dehumanise women then what to say?
Finally, if a boy has seen his own mother, grandmother, aunts, sisters being disrespected, abused, mocked, belittled, put down by male relatives in family, he will internalise the same values and never respect any woman himself. It begins at home itself
Those drunk, abusive uncles at parties, family functions are tolerated or laughed off. Why? Do you call these creeps family? Would you tolerate if women behaved like this? Why not call out goonish behavior within homes, family functions itself?
Women internalise self hate, self blame and are asked to keep away, keep quiet. While men, of course, can do anything they like, including cheap behavior of drunk uncles at weddings, family functions. You the relatives everyone avoids for sake of own safety.
Putting women in ghunghat, purdah, locking them at homes, or committing female foeticide or not hiring, admitting females anywhere is no solution. You know even boys are sexually abused by predatory men. When will men be asked to introspect own behavior?
Also stop asking make survivors of abuse to keep quiet or shaming them as not being man enough. ‘You got sodomised? Hahaha! You’re not man enough’ – that’s a pathetic excuse to blame victims and have predatory men get away again.
Will add on religious preachers too, who keep bashing women for dress, make up, career, late marriage, cooking, problems with in laws but never say a word on men who misbehave, abuse, are into domestic violence, harassment, drugs, alcohol, sexual misconduct etc